sick again

I have yet another cold.  I feel like the baby and me just keep passing the same dirty cold to each other.  It doesn't help that I have become a human tissue and between the teething and colds I usually have some boogers somewhere on me at all times.  Whenever I don't feel good I am really mushy, I just want to sleep, eat and hug.  As I think more and more of jumping on the baby bandwagon again, I've reflecting on what I've learned the past year.

I had no idea how much babies poop.  I remember sitting in the childcare class and hearing that babies pooped about 10 times a day.  It seemed outrageous to me until it became my reality.  As we transitioned to solids and the poop firmed up and slowed down, but we're still averaging about 3-4 a day.  You would think at this point I'd be desensitised but no, I still gag most of the time.

The laundry never ends, there are always dishes in the sink, the toilet paper roll is always empty, the trash is always full (especially the diaper genie).  The only thing that comes faster than bed time is wake up time. 

Despite buying toy after toy, Boy will pass them all by to play with the vegetable brush, the remote, a cell phone, an old sock, an empty box, lint, his genitals, my bra, or an envelope.  He can also sense from anywhere in the house if the bathroom door has been left open and makes a beeline to the toilet.

I've grown an affinity for Sesame Street and Yo Gabba Gabba.  The other kid shows are a little too much for me and some I can bear, but I really like Sesame St. and Yo Gabs.  They're entertaining.

I wonder if my body will ever be the same.  Only recently has my hair stopped falling out in clumps but I still wake up to pee at least once a night and I'm usually sweating.  Luckily the belly hair and lovely linea nigra went away pretty quickly.

I am amazed everyday at the wonders of biology.  Reproduction, in and or itself is truly amazing.  I can't believe that we created this amazing little boy.  How is has grown from the little baby into such an active, inquistive, smart and fearless boy.  Sometimes the pride and awe of him is overwhelming.

A lot of people told me that motherhood would give me a new found respect for my parents.  While it may have in some regards, I find that I have become much more judgemental of them as parents.  Our vastly different parenting styles has caused some friction, particularly between my mother and I.   She has made several snide comments about my son having a bedtime, eating vegetables and having too many toys.  While I wasn't raised by animals, we lacked alot of structure and I believe that is important to have that in our lives now.  I understand that my mother was much younger and my father was not even remotely helpful, and we spent a lot of time with extended family members.  I think my mother thought she would have a bigger roll and is at times resentful that she she doesn't.

quiet

I hate having to title each post.  That being said I am hoping for a quiet weekend.  This week seemed to drag and I've started a new habit that isn't helping.  Every morning this week Boy has been waking up at about 5:45.  I've been giving him a bottle and letting him lay in our bed where he eventually falls asleep.  Then when our alarm goes off at 6:45, it's all but impossible to get up.  I just want to stay snuggled up.  Plus, I always find short week drag on.
This week at work we had an "International Day" party to honor Martin Luther King Jr..   Not really sure what baked ziti has to do with his legacy, but what do I know.  I go back and forth on these office parties.  There are always the people that go crazy and make a ton of food and spend a ton of money and then the people who bring a bag of chips.  And the people that overextend themselves always take issue with those who don't, even if it's the majority.  How much cake can people eat anyway?  I never like to eat any of the stuff and it's usually on a bad day for me to make anything the night before, so I usually pick up cookies.  The last time I made myself nuts trying to find good cookies and nobody ate any of them, so I've stopped caring.  This time around I tried to be a good sport and agreed to make a dish.  I'm Polish, I bought kielbasa.  When I came into work Tuesday and realized that most of the food was sitting out from 7:30 am until noon when the party started, I knew I wouldn't be eating any of it.  I have a lot of food issues and I was already hesitant to eat food that people had made but once I realized that it was unrefrigerated for that length of time then put on a sterno, I knew I'd pass.  I heated my dish up in the microwave right before the party but since there was barely any room due to the gigantic sterno, my stuff got put on top of the coffee pot, out of the way.  It only ended up reinforcing how I do not like participating in these functions.  Just leave me alone to eat my stupid PB&J in peace.

Baby fever

As I watch Boy grow so fast and gain confidence in my mothering, I can't help but want to do it all again.  The problem with that is I know what to expect when expecting. 

I am 36, so my clock is ticking loudly and my window for opportunity is closing.  We have always wanted more than one child.  Not only for ourselves but we understand the importance of siblings.  My husband is one of seven and I am close with my sister.  There is a certain closeness that you can only get with family.  Boy is the only child on my side and the youngest by 9 years on my husbands so without even cousins close in age we really want to be able to give him a sibling.

I loved being pregnant the first time.  We were very lucky that I got pregnant the first month we tried.  I had been nervous at the start because you never know until you try if there will be any issues.  I found the prospect of charting daunting and really didn't want to do it.  I figured we would try the first month, and if we were unsuccessful I would start charting my basal temperature.  Luckily I had a "by the book" 28 day cycle, so we were able to time everything perfectly and when I was two days late a test confirmed the greatest news ever.  I then read every book, which prepared me for every possible side effect.  I stocked up on ginger ale and crackers and waited for morning sickness, which never came.  Besides being tired and getting a horrific cold the 2nd month, everything was great.  There were bouts of heartburn, incessant kicking and horrific cankling it was noting like some of the stories I read.  Even as my due date came and went, my induction failed and we relented to a c-section, I felt blessed by my whole experience.  Even my recovery went well. Strangely, this worries me for the next time.  Like I'm tempting fate.

half day

Excited to take a half day today.  The hubs and I have been talking about it months and we're finally taking the day and going out to lunch to eat and have a few drinks by ourselves.  Enjoy a little couple time.  It's so easy to get caught up in our new role as parents and forget to give each other the time that we need.  I admit that sometimes it does make me feel guilty leaving Boy at day care and having fun without him.  He's so easy going that it's not a big deal going to restaurants with him, but we definitely do need more time alone.  We don't leave him with babysitters often because he is in daycare all week so I am hesitant to not spend all the available time we have together on the weekends.  Plus, he's hard work and we have few people I would be comfortable leaving him with.  My parents have watched him a handful of times and it's always nerve racking.  A few weeks ago day care was closed for a holiday that we didn't get and we worked it out that I would work a half day in the am and Hubs would do the afternoon.  My parents only needed to watch him for 2 hours in the middle.  A time period that she have been filled mostly by lunch and napping.  When I got home I found that he barely ate lunch and was awake.  They thought he looked too tired to eat so they stopped feeding him and tried to put him down for nap.  After rocking him for 20 minutes, he eventually did fall asleep but my father insisted on holding him instead of putting him in the crib so when my mom's cell phone rang he woke up and was wide awake because he probably couldn't what the hell was going on. It didn't help that the baby farted and my dad freaked out at the possibility of a diaper change.  It's always nice to come home to two adults standing over a hungry, overtired toddler trying to figure out if he pooped.  Sniff his butt, that's what I do.

Questions

Why does my 1 year old always smell like a foot?
Why does he insist on sticking his fist down his throat until he gags?
Why is he waking up at 5 am and turning on the light?
Why am I not independently wealthy?
Why wouldn't you flush a public toilet?
Why has my tolerance for ignorance and stupidity at an all time low?
Why are people so surprised by Lance Armstrong doping?  Are we that desperate to believe in something, anything?
I wonder if the house in East Atlantic Beach with all the clowns in the windows survived the hurricane.

Day-O

My day so far in a nut shell
Boy up at 5:30 AM, he's learned to turn his light on, so they're no getting him to settle back down on his own.  Despite previous promises not to, we brought him in the bed to play.  By play I mean kick and bite us while laughing.  Shockingly he did fall back asleep, 5 minutes before our alarm went off, so we stayed in bed a little longer enjoy the quiet "we" time.
Shower, dress, make lunch, daycare drop off, drive to work
It smells a a home perm in here today
The woman who sits in front of me has been youtubing old newscasts from the Sandy Hook School shooting at full volume all day.  Most of them are eyewitness testimonies. I kept trying to block it out because it's was such a horrible event, I didn't think any  one would want to relive it.
I finally tracked done a flu shot at lunch.  The woman in front of me at the CVS had a flattened dreadlock down her back that was bound with plastic zip ties.  I almost throw up in my mouth imagining what it smelled like.
I ate a delicious glazed donut!!!!!!

stink fingers

So, as it turns out I am completely useless in a crisis.  On the weekends we let Boy run around in a tshirt and diapers most days.  Fighting to get his pants on is sometimes not worth the fight and he seems to like being free.  So the hubs and I were sitting on the couch and the baby had been playing when he started walking towards us scratching his ass, hand in the diaper scratching his ass.  I blurt out loud, "I hope he didn't poop", and my great, wonderful, patient husband gets up to look only to find that yes, he has pooped and now it's all over his hand.  Panic sets in because Boy loves putting his hands in his mouth and now his fingers are covered in feces, but I couldn't help because I was too busy trying not to piss myself on the couch as I was doubled over laughing.  Tears streaming down my face, I was paralyzed with a fit of the giggles, while my poor husband tried to take control of the situation and prevent our child from getting e. coli.  Luckily I regained my composure and was able to render assistance, but I had bouts of the giggles for the rest of the night.