So apparently, there is this freak hurricane/nor'easter/Arctic blast headed my way. I had to leave work early yesterday for Boy's doctors appt., so luckily I did my regular food shopping then because it is chaos around here. Last year, we got hit with a tropical storm and some people were without power for 2 weeks so some of the panic is warranted. Unfortunately I forget to get a jalapeno for a recipe I wanted to make, but it is not worth braving the stores to get it at this point.
This morning Boy woke up at 4:30, after trying unsuccessfully to get him back to sleep I caved and brought him into our bed. M and I had agreed to stop doing that because he began to expect it but I was exhausted and just wanted to lay back down. All bets are off that early. The weather was mild and we had all the windows open so we were nicely awoken a short time later by a crow. Boy loves crow noises and not only woke up but started yelling "Caw Caw" back at it. It's a lot easier to smile at the memory now then it enjoy when its happening at sunrise.
I finally got my centerpiece done, that about all I accomplished today, along with the usual cleaning, laundry and errands. I tried a new farmers market and was sorely disappointed to find it was only one both that appeared to have only corn and carrots. I didn't even get out of the car because the baby had fallen asleep and his napping outweighed carrots. They advertised numerous other vendors and I was hoping to get some fresh bread and maybe seafood. They have a great farmers market where I work but I can never get anything that has to be refrigerated because the fridge at work is small and nasty.
We also had two unexpected visits from both of my parents. My father "dropped by", which I can not stand and am hoping was an isolated incident. Not to be outdone, my mother called a little while later and wanted to come over. My son is the first grandchild in my family so they do like to lavish him with attention. It is sometimes difficult trying to manage their expectations and mine. I know they do it out of love, but sometimes I just want to be left alone. I'm tired, I'm pressed for time to accomplish everything I need to get done over a weekend, plus I like spending time as a family. I feel like the weeks are so rushed the weekend is the only time we can do anything recreation, even if it's just hanging out in the yard.
Tomorrow I'm going to have to hit the ground running. I have to make lunch for the week ( soup with orzo), dinner for at least two night (meatloaf), and I wanted to make this pumpkin-choc-chip bars I read about on Two Peas and Their Pod. The lawn furniture has to be brought in too. I hope it's not as bad as they're predicting. Figures M has to work late Monday, just when it's supposed to be bad. I'm keeping my fingers crossed
Saturday, October 27, 2012
Friday, October 26, 2012
weaning
We've been weaning for a few weeks and transitioning to cow's milk (whole, organic). Boy already takes two bottles at daycare during the day but still nursed on demand on the weekends plus morning and night during the week. Our first step was to start daytime bottles on the weekend, which went great, no problem. I continued pumping at work twice a day, but as a wasn't nursing as much my supply started tanking. The next step was the morning feeding. Boy has only recently started sleeping through the night but had periodically woken up at night to nurse. We started using warmed pumped breast milk when he woke up (usually around 4) and have now transitioned to cold cow's milk. So, I dropped a pumping session during the day and tried to built a stash to replace the bedtime feed. Except, all of the sudden Boy started waking up more during the night, screaming for a bottle. After a few nights we figured out that my supply was so low that it wasn't holding him over anymore. My one pump session a day was lucky to give me 2 ozs. so I can only imagine what he was getting. Nursing is part of our bedtime routine, so we started given him a small bottle first then nurse until he fell asleep. This seemed to be working and we talked about trying just a bottle this weekend.
Last night, Boy wouldn't nurse. I gave him a bottle and read "Five Little Pumpkins", and then tried to nurse. He kept unlatching and pointing and grunting at the empty bottle on the nightstand. With my heart in my throat, I relented and got him another bottle. As I rocked him, I thought about our journey.
I began breastfeeding about an hour after you were born via c-section. While my milk had not yet come in we kept at it, every two hours. On the third day, the doctor suggested we supplement with a little formula because you lost too much weight. Once my milk came in, you nursed constantly. At times I felt like a cow, but I loved holding you and being able to give you everything you needed. You packed on weight, the doctors were amazed. You were doing so well, we didn't start solids until 6 months because you didn't need more. I never thought you'd take a bottle as we prepared for day care, but you handled it like a champ. We made it through growth spurts, biting and distraction. As your first birthday approached, I knew that you'd be ready to wean, it turns out I had more of a difficult time with it. The thought of it would bring tears to my eyes, the thoughts of you getting older and more independent. I'll admit that it has been nice not having to be the one who always has to get up in the morning, now Daddy and I can take turns.
If I had known Wednesday was the last time I would nurse, maybe I would have paid more attention, really took it all in. If I knew it was the last time, chances are I would have cried. Maybe it is better that it happened suddenly, as hard as it is on me. A chapter closes.
Last night, Boy wouldn't nurse. I gave him a bottle and read "Five Little Pumpkins", and then tried to nurse. He kept unlatching and pointing and grunting at the empty bottle on the nightstand. With my heart in my throat, I relented and got him another bottle. As I rocked him, I thought about our journey.
I began breastfeeding about an hour after you were born via c-section. While my milk had not yet come in we kept at it, every two hours. On the third day, the doctor suggested we supplement with a little formula because you lost too much weight. Once my milk came in, you nursed constantly. At times I felt like a cow, but I loved holding you and being able to give you everything you needed. You packed on weight, the doctors were amazed. You were doing so well, we didn't start solids until 6 months because you didn't need more. I never thought you'd take a bottle as we prepared for day care, but you handled it like a champ. We made it through growth spurts, biting and distraction. As your first birthday approached, I knew that you'd be ready to wean, it turns out I had more of a difficult time with it. The thought of it would bring tears to my eyes, the thoughts of you getting older and more independent. I'll admit that it has been nice not having to be the one who always has to get up in the morning, now Daddy and I can take turns.
If I had known Wednesday was the last time I would nurse, maybe I would have paid more attention, really took it all in. If I knew it was the last time, chances are I would have cried. Maybe it is better that it happened suddenly, as hard as it is on me. A chapter closes.
Thursday, October 25, 2012
Day 2
Boy woke up for a little around 2:15, but was able to go back to sleep. Up at 6:30, I forget that M goes into work late so I wasted a lot of time waiting for him to get in the shower only to realize that he didn't have to yet. Shower, make Boy's lunch- pasta with veggies, cut up mango and cheese, plus some sweet potato puff. M will pack up my lunch later when he leaves for work. I've been trying to go to the gym at lunch twice a week but I forgot to wash my workout clothes and I can't find my sneakers- Oh well.
Daycare drop off, went surprisingly well, and then off to work. There has been a lot more roadkill lately and I have bad gag reflex in the morning, which has been making for an interesting commute. M and I carpool 3 times a week so at least then I can divert my eyes. One time we were next to a garbage truck on a hot summer morning and I really almost through up from the smell. Shockingly, this morning nauseau got better when I was pregnant. Go figure.
Work, same old same old. Except I got a fabulous recipe for granola and an oatmeal bake plus I found three recipes online to try: Stuffed Portobellos, Pasta with Kale, Olives, and Feta, and Pumpkin-Choc-Chip bars. It's supposed to rain this weekend so I figure I'll have some time to cook and bake. My boss is out for two days, so I'm at somewhat of a stand still. Good excuse to find new recipes.
For Boy's 1st birthday two weeks ago, we took him to the same photographer who did his newborn photos for a cake smash session. I have been stalking my email since even though she told me it would take three weeks to get the proofs. She emailed them to me today and I am amazed at how adorable the came out and how much talent she has.
Went to Michaels had lunch and bought a new wreath, some frames, fakes leaves and a glass bowl. I have illusion of doing a cool fall centerpiece on our dining room table with baby pumpkins and fakes leaves. I've been trying to accomplish it all week but I haven't even managed to get the orange table cloth on the table.
Can't wait to head home today. M works late so it's just me and the boy. Luckily we're doing leftover tacos when he gets home at 8:30 and I have some leftover potatoes for Boy and another veggie. I know it's hard for M come home after Boy is asleep, he feels like he's missing something. When he was younger he would sometimes still be awake when he came home but now he barely stays up past 7:15. I used to work late one night a week but since I came back from maternity leave I changed my schedule. I thought consistency with bedtime and dinner was important for all of us. Plus I didn't want to miss another night with M due to work. It's hard enough with two nights.
Daycare drop off, went surprisingly well, and then off to work. There has been a lot more roadkill lately and I have bad gag reflex in the morning, which has been making for an interesting commute. M and I carpool 3 times a week so at least then I can divert my eyes. One time we were next to a garbage truck on a hot summer morning and I really almost through up from the smell. Shockingly, this morning nauseau got better when I was pregnant. Go figure.
Work, same old same old. Except I got a fabulous recipe for granola and an oatmeal bake plus I found three recipes online to try: Stuffed Portobellos, Pasta with Kale, Olives, and Feta, and Pumpkin-Choc-Chip bars. It's supposed to rain this weekend so I figure I'll have some time to cook and bake. My boss is out for two days, so I'm at somewhat of a stand still. Good excuse to find new recipes.
For Boy's 1st birthday two weeks ago, we took him to the same photographer who did his newborn photos for a cake smash session. I have been stalking my email since even though she told me it would take three weeks to get the proofs. She emailed them to me today and I am amazed at how adorable the came out and how much talent she has.
Went to Michaels had lunch and bought a new wreath, some frames, fakes leaves and a glass bowl. I have illusion of doing a cool fall centerpiece on our dining room table with baby pumpkins and fakes leaves. I've been trying to accomplish it all week but I haven't even managed to get the orange table cloth on the table.
Can't wait to head home today. M works late so it's just me and the boy. Luckily we're doing leftover tacos when he gets home at 8:30 and I have some leftover potatoes for Boy and another veggie. I know it's hard for M come home after Boy is asleep, he feels like he's missing something. When he was younger he would sometimes still be awake when he came home but now he barely stays up past 7:15. I used to work late one night a week but since I came back from maternity leave I changed my schedule. I thought consistency with bedtime and dinner was important for all of us. Plus I didn't want to miss another night with M due to work. It's hard enough with two nights.
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Day 1
My day in a nutshell-
Boy actually slept through the night- He grumbled a little around 2:30 but fell back asleep easily. What a difference a full night sleep makes for all of us. When he got up at 6:30 I let him lay in bed with us while he had his bottle then M jumped in the shower. It's always cute and cuddly at the beginning but Boy will inevitably lean over and bite my arm at some point. He's like a sour patch kid, he'll be sweet and put his head on your shoulder but then 2 seconds later he'll bite it. M's done and will get breakfast ready while I jump in the shower. We've been sleeping a little later lately because it's so dark in the morning, so showers have to be quick and simple. Luckily I'm fairly up to date on our laundry so I already know what I'm going to wear, so I got dressed quick and then realized I can not say the same for Boy's clothes. I dig up what appears to be the last clean pair of pants in his dresser and head downstairs, making a mental note to do his laundry tonight. M made baby waffles and coffee. I pack up the lunches (leftover baked ziti for us, turkey meatballs, pasta and veggies for baby with cut up mangoes and a cheese stick for snack), I take frozen ground turkey out of the freezer for dinner and head out the door. Luckily before I get to the car I realize I forgot to pack up my breast pump and I have to run back in. My head start is gone. Daycare drop offs are getting harder. He is starting to get clingy when we leave which breaks my heart. He started daycare at 5 months old when I returned to work and only recently has been having separation anxiety. It makes for a bad start to the day. Get to work with 4 minutes to spare.
Work is the normal BS. I watch the clock a lot........... Lately I've tired of all the office politics and gossip and mostly just want to be left alone. Keep my head down, do what I have to do and go home. At lunch today I got frozen yogurt, it was the highlight of my afternoon.
Leave work, drive and pick up Boy at daycare. I will never tired of the look of excitement that comes across his face when we open the door. I love that he's still in a snugly phase, I just love him up.
Get home, throw in baby laundry right away, start browning the meat for tacos, boil some red potatoes Baby plus corn and rice for us. Chop up taco fixing -(tomatoes, lettuce, olives) plus avocado for the baby. Try and clean up the kitchen as I go. M takes Boy outside to play while I try to get everything together. It's too hard trying to keep him away for the stove and all the activity in the kitchen so it's easier to distract outside for now. Sit down and have dinner.
Boy needs to have a nebulizer twice a day, so after dinner we do the nebbie while watching a elmo's world on youtube. Up to bed. M changes the baby into his pj's while I get a bottle ready. We've been weaning the past few weeks and my breast milk supply is tanking so we give a bottle first then nurse. Slowly the nursing time is decreasing. Weaning has been bittersweet. It's nice to get my body back but I miss providing for my son and the bonding time that we had. The bedtime session is the last to go.
Ahh sleep. Downstairs to clean up from dinner. Luckily M started the dishes and put the leftovers away already. Cleanup is mostly down by 8 and I sit down with a big glass of wine and watch tv. I watched The Middle (love that Sue Heck) and Modern Family. In between M and I watched a video on Grantland.com about Arnold Schwarzenegger, which was more interesting than I thought it would be. Had some chips ahoy and went to bed.
I started reading the Perks of being a Wallflower, in anticipation of the movie. So far so good, definitely geared towards a younger audience but those scars from high school never heal and remain relatable (is that even a word).
Boy actually slept through the night- He grumbled a little around 2:30 but fell back asleep easily. What a difference a full night sleep makes for all of us. When he got up at 6:30 I let him lay in bed with us while he had his bottle then M jumped in the shower. It's always cute and cuddly at the beginning but Boy will inevitably lean over and bite my arm at some point. He's like a sour patch kid, he'll be sweet and put his head on your shoulder but then 2 seconds later he'll bite it. M's done and will get breakfast ready while I jump in the shower. We've been sleeping a little later lately because it's so dark in the morning, so showers have to be quick and simple. Luckily I'm fairly up to date on our laundry so I already know what I'm going to wear, so I got dressed quick and then realized I can not say the same for Boy's clothes. I dig up what appears to be the last clean pair of pants in his dresser and head downstairs, making a mental note to do his laundry tonight. M made baby waffles and coffee. I pack up the lunches (leftover baked ziti for us, turkey meatballs, pasta and veggies for baby with cut up mangoes and a cheese stick for snack), I take frozen ground turkey out of the freezer for dinner and head out the door. Luckily before I get to the car I realize I forgot to pack up my breast pump and I have to run back in. My head start is gone. Daycare drop offs are getting harder. He is starting to get clingy when we leave which breaks my heart. He started daycare at 5 months old when I returned to work and only recently has been having separation anxiety. It makes for a bad start to the day. Get to work with 4 minutes to spare.
Work is the normal BS. I watch the clock a lot........... Lately I've tired of all the office politics and gossip and mostly just want to be left alone. Keep my head down, do what I have to do and go home. At lunch today I got frozen yogurt, it was the highlight of my afternoon.
Leave work, drive and pick up Boy at daycare. I will never tired of the look of excitement that comes across his face when we open the door. I love that he's still in a snugly phase, I just love him up.
Get home, throw in baby laundry right away, start browning the meat for tacos, boil some red potatoes Baby plus corn and rice for us. Chop up taco fixing -(tomatoes, lettuce, olives) plus avocado for the baby. Try and clean up the kitchen as I go. M takes Boy outside to play while I try to get everything together. It's too hard trying to keep him away for the stove and all the activity in the kitchen so it's easier to distract outside for now. Sit down and have dinner.
Boy needs to have a nebulizer twice a day, so after dinner we do the nebbie while watching a elmo's world on youtube. Up to bed. M changes the baby into his pj's while I get a bottle ready. We've been weaning the past few weeks and my breast milk supply is tanking so we give a bottle first then nurse. Slowly the nursing time is decreasing. Weaning has been bittersweet. It's nice to get my body back but I miss providing for my son and the bonding time that we had. The bedtime session is the last to go.
Ahh sleep. Downstairs to clean up from dinner. Luckily M started the dishes and put the leftovers away already. Cleanup is mostly down by 8 and I sit down with a big glass of wine and watch tv. I watched The Middle (love that Sue Heck) and Modern Family. In between M and I watched a video on Grantland.com about Arnold Schwarzenegger, which was more interesting than I thought it would be. Had some chips ahoy and went to bed.
I started reading the Perks of being a Wallflower, in anticipation of the movie. So far so good, definitely geared towards a younger audience but those scars from high school never heal and remain relatable (is that even a word).
ponderings
I've attempted blogging before but don't often find the time to sit with my thoughts and get them out. I've decided to make a promise to myself to put asside some time to do this. Most of my alone time is now spend on the toilet. Sometimes when my pants are around my ankles, I have a hair brush in one hand, my phone in another, and a toothbrush in my mouth, I wonder what happened to myself. Where did the time go? How am I going to get everything I need to get done today? Where are my shoes? I hope there's more toilet paper under the sink.
In my quest to "have it all", (which in my case is a wonderfully loving husband, beautiful son, dreams of more children, a mediocre government job, all while trying to keep my house fairly clean and presentable and trying to attempt healthy living) I am never quite sure if I'm headed to the asylum or if I'm finally getting the hang of things.
In my quest to "have it all", (which in my case is a wonderfully loving husband, beautiful son, dreams of more children, a mediocre government job, all while trying to keep my house fairly clean and presentable and trying to attempt healthy living) I am never quite sure if I'm headed to the asylum or if I'm finally getting the hang of things.
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