looking back

As the new year starts and everyone focuses on beginnings I can't help but look back on the past year.  How my baby boy has turned into this little person, no longer content to lay on his back staring endlessly at the ceiling fan but wanting to jump and climb and roar.  How he has begun to have emotions and express them, whether it's a belly laugh or biting down on target of his frustration.  It's amazing how much happens in that first year and how quickly it goes by.   Time is fleeting and I've really tried to slow it down and focus on what matters.  Spend time building experiences, even it's its just sitting on the couch watching a bad movie.  Taking it in for what it is. 
Those first few weeks with a newborn, where I waited and wished he'd grow faster, stay awake longer, play.  Partly out of my eagerness but mostly out of fear and uncertainty of this little being who seemed so helpless and so dependant on me.  I worried if I was meeting all of his needs.  Looking back those needs seem so basic but felt so monumental at the time.  Was he nursing enough?  Sleeping enough?  Was he getting a flat head?  Was he warm enough?  The nights were I laid awake listening to him breathing across the room, a bundle of nerves ready to jump at any sound.  That all seems so long ago, as I watch this little boy throw his arms back and race across the living room, just for the exhilaration of running.  The new found freedom and independence that comes with mobility.  His never ending curiosity in his surroundings and the joy he finds in everything, whether it be a new toy or old cheerio found on the floor. 
I try to just take it all in and enjoy the moment.  If this past year is any indication, the next one is going to fly by too and I don't want to spend any of it wishing it away.